…to any who visit regularly and find this journal ludicrously out of date.
Actually, I’m probably saying this to a vaccuum and only have myself to blame but, with the wise words of Ariel in my ears: ‘Update your blog and do it more often you lazy git’, I thought I should make a new effort.
This then, will be by way of a ramble. I have no excuse for leaving it so long. I’m no busier than before in most respects. And I’m just as irritated by pointless TV that for some reason unfathomable to me, obsesses the nation. Yes, I am talking about ‘I’m a celebrity, get me out of here.’ A more accurate title would surely be ‘If I was a celebrity I wouldn’t be here.’ Do you know 9 million people in the UK watched John Fashanu have vertigo or some such? I wasn’t among them but it was impossible to avoid hearing or reading about it. Think I should buy one of those sensory deprivation tanks soon because, oh dear Lord save us, Fame Academy is coming back.
And to all contestants on similar shows, you get exactly what you signed up for so don’t bother bleating. Take responsibility. Fear Factor people, how dare you look shocked when the plate of raw skunk testicles are uncovered for your supper. What were you expecting, Filet Mignon? Temptation Island people, why are you crying because your boy/girl friend went off and shagged someone else while you did the same? You are there to be paraded as weak-willed betrayers of your partners. Congratulations on conforming. Believe it or not, I’ve never seen a single episode of any of these misnomered ‘reality’ shows. You can get the lot from trailers, believe me. And yet, I seem to know more about what to expect than any of the contestants… Could be I’m just a killjoy cynic. Could be a lot of people are more stupid than I thought.
Enough ranting about drivel, I’m in danger of giving it credence. Here’s some drivel all of my own. Tell you what I am busier doing with no success whatsoever dammit all. Meeting the right girl. Now while there is something liberating about being single… beholden to no one, free to do anything on the spur of the moment, no long silences with more than one person in the room…own choice of music, TV, videos all the time etc… there is something missing. I’ll sum it up like this. It’s Sunday morning, you’ve got the papers, the coffee smells divine. So you take it all into the bedroom, climb into bed and there’s no one there to enjoy one of life’s perfect moments with you. That ain’t so good.
I always was crap at writing diaries. One of those that as a fall back position would describe food and weather. Very imaginative. So, I won’t attempt an every day thing. Frankly, it won’t work. But I will have a go at a two or three times a week thing. Ariel, if you’re reading this from way over at TheAlienOnline.net, abuse is welcome as and when I slip up.
And finally, a quick film opinion. I bloody love adventure films. Those that wash over you, don’t try to be too clever but seek first to entertain and succeed in suspending credibility. Sure, if you looked, you could pick holes in them but why bother? Take them as they are. Right up there these days, partly because it’s on Sky Movies so I’ve seen it a few times, is The Mummy Returns. I liked the first one but for me, this is better. Mucks about with mythology, makes no excuses for its heroes and villains and its simplicity makes it work. Just let it happen to you. And if you’re reading this Stephen Sommers and are searching for another in the franchise, boy have I got an idea for you (and it isn’t anything to do with The Raven, either)…