Mark Chadbourn (may he be slightly injured in a freak typing accident), fellow fantasy author and owner of the excellent www.jackofravens.com blog as tagged me. I understand this to mean I have to reveal five things about me that you are unlikely to know. So here goes:
1) I hate wobbly fat on meat. It is the texture and consistency that is such a disgrace and it makes me seriously nauseous. Crispy bacon fat is just fine and dandy.
2) I broke my right arm in three places when I was a wee lad of six. A very bad break I’m assured. All I did was fall off a climbing frame. I still remember the numbness and also the odd feeling when the plaster came off. After six weeks with my forearm encased, I had to concentrate to keep it by my side or it would float up around my head. Just for a while. Honestly.
3) My worst heckler threw an onion at me. I was in a pub doing my one-man show ‘The Goalkeeper’ in pursuit of my Equity Card. Apparently, the gentleman in question didn’t enjoy my take on the profession and a pickled onion missed me but only barely. It was not the high point of my acting career. I completed the show and beat a hasty retreat. I finally got my Equity card doing a children’s Winnie the Pooh show with a friend of mine.
4) I used to suffer from a stammer. I was quite young. 10 or so, if I recall. It is a horrible thing and mine wasn’t even severe. And can I just point out to you non-stammerers that the two crappest things you can do to a person with a stammer are; finish their words for them and mimic their problem. Just don’t… they are acutely sensitive already and you will make it a whole lot worse.
5) I used to be a tournament standard paintball player. Back in the late 80s and early 90s, when paintball was relatively new, I turned up for a day’s play and fell in love with it. I came back again and again and was eventually invited to join a team called ‘The Turks’. It was a real bank account drainer but a fantastic time. We played almost every weekend, trained during the week and on my non-playing days I worked at the site to earn the money to buy gun and paint. While I was a member of the team, our finest moment was coming second in the Mayhem European Open 1990. And we should have won. I won’t bore you with the details, it still hurts a bit even now. I still turn out and play occasionally but not for a team any longer.