Monday, June 22, 2009Inaugural David Gemmell Legend AwardFriday 19th June, Magic Circle HQ, London. And a result that surprised many. The award was won by Andrzej Sapkowski for Blood Of Elves ahead of the favourite, Joe Abercrombie. As Joe himself said, not too big a surprise when you see Mr S's popularity and sales figures. Even so, I think it was a result that set the stall for the DGLA as a truly international award and that can only be good. Joe will undoubtedly win one of these years and I might even make the shortlist sometime. The event itself was a terrific occasion. Ideal venue, relaxed atmosphere and style and many a glass raised to the memory of David Gemmell. I did my bit, opening the event with the call to arms speech of Druss on the walls of Dros Delnoch and then, later, running the auction. Got to say I had GREAT fun doing the auction. And people were very kind to say they'd enjoyed it too. I left with my ego suitably buffed and I hope I'm invited back to do it again next year. David Devereux and I are threatening to show up in white tie which I think would be rather splendid. The search has begun for an opening speech for next time as I think doing the same one each time would get tired very quickly. i was very pleased with my delivery of the speech and again, would welcome the chance to do another next year. Or perhaps a two-hander... All in all, a great event and gorgeous prizes for winner and nominees made by the Raven Armoury. Thanks to all, particularly Debbie Miller, for making it a night to remember. Oh, and finally a massive big-up to Bragelonne for their magnificent support. As always, gentlemen, you are close to perfect. posted by James Barclay on Monday, June 22, 2009
 Wednesday, October 29, 2008Brand and Ross and Andrew SachsAm I missing something? Never mind that the row over their programme is STILL going on. Unbelievably. We are told that Brand and Ross are brilliant and edgy and take risks and sometimes this means they get it wrong. OK. Can someone help me with what is risky or edgy about leaving puerile and immature schoolboy messages on Andrew Sach's answerphone? Wow. Clever stuff. Certainly not something that 13 year old boys might do. Takes a sharp and smart mind to dream up such genius. No point in sacking them. They'll both be in other jobs before they've left the BBC. Why not take them to a quiet room and explain what being funny entails. It might take a while in Brand's case. I must be old because I have never so much as lifted a lip molecule to one of his gags. Ross just should know better. Wednesday, August 08, 2007Thought For The DayIf my six month old son, Oscar, fights as hard for world peace in the future as he does against falling asleep at the moment, we can look forward to the cessation of all conflict around the globe. Wednesday, June 27, 2007Thought for the dayTo own a dog is to know that you are less interesting than a pile of deer crap. Labels: Dogs Thursday, February 22, 2007Five things you didn't know (and probably didn't want to)Mark Chadbourn (may he be slightly injured in a freak typing accident), fellow fantasy author and owner of the excellent www.jackofravens.com blog as tagged me. I understand this to mean I have to reveal five things about me that you are unlikely to know. So here goes: 1) I hate wobbly fat on meat. It is the texture and consistency that is such a disgrace and it makes me seriously nauseous. Crispy bacon fat is just fine and dandy. 2) I broke my right arm in three places when I was a wee lad of six. A very bad break I'm assured. All I did was fall off a climbing frame. I still remember the numbness and also the odd feeling when the plaster came off. After six weeks with my forearm encased, I had to concentrate to keep it by my side or it would float up around my head. Just for a while. Honestly. 3) My worst heckler threw an onion at me. I was in a pub doing my one-man show 'The Goalkeeper' in pursuit of my Equity Card. Apparently, the gentleman in question didn't enjoy my take on the profession and a pickled onion missed me but only barely. It was not the high point of my acting career. I completed the show and beat a hasty retreat. I finally got my Equity card doing a children's Winnie the Pooh show with a friend of mine. 4) I used to suffer from a stammer. I was quite young. 10 or so, if I recall. It is a horrible thing and mine wasn't even severe. And can I just point out to you non-stammerers that the two crappest things you can do to a person with a stammer are; finish their words for them and mimic their problem. Just don't... they are acutely sensitive already and you will make it a whole lot worse. 5) I used to be a tournament standard paintball player. Back in the late 80s and early 90s, when paintball was relatively new, I turned up for a day's play and fell in love with it. I came back again and again and was eventually invited to join a team called 'The Turks'. It was a real bank account drainer but a fantastic time. We played almost every weekend, trained during the week and on my non-playing days I worked at the site to earn the money to buy gun and paint. While I was a member of the team, our finest moment was coming second in the Mayhem European Open 1990. And we should have won. I won't bore you with the details, it still hurts a bit even now. I still turn out and play occasionally but not for a team any longer. So there you go. Apparently I have to tag three friends (what a great networking tool, eh?) so I tag Dave Mutton, Stan Nicholls and Lizzy Hill. Don't blame me, blame Chadbourn. Tuesday, January 16, 2007Richmond and CO2 chargingWe read that Richmond Borough Council (which includes my part of Teddington) plan to increase resident parking charges for those evil folk who drive gas guzzling cars. I wanted to check a few things so have just written to Councillor Lourie. I thought I'd share the text with you... Dear Mr Lourie, I have read about the plans to charge higher resident parking fees for ‘4x4s and other gas guzzling cars’ with interest. I’m all for action on emissions. Indeed when I bought my 4x4, I made sure that it’s emissions were in line with most normal family saloons, same goes for its fuel economy and safety rating. I have off road parking so in my quiet corner of Teddington I actually won’t suffer from increased resident parking charges. That does not stop me being really worried about the basis for imposing these charges so I just wanted to check that you were going to be scrupulously fair about their imposition. Not being apprised with how you will determine which vehicles should be charged your proposed increases, I am assuming that what you will do is physically measure the CO2 output of every single car applying for a resident’s parking permit within the borough rather than just go by the manufacturer’s stated emissions. At the least, you will be asking that any vehicle requiring an MOT provides proper recent measurement of their current emissions status. As I’m sure you’re aware, poorly maintained cars, those that are simply a good number of years old, many vans, mini-buses, diesel vehicles old and new to name but a few, can emit CO2 far in excess of anything pumped out by many modern 4x4s. I know as a member of Richmond Council you will want to impose any rules and higher charges fairly and not discriminate on the basis of any popularist assumptions. Please confirm that will be the case and outline same for public consumption. Thursday, January 11, 2007Politician in 'family before career' shockI don't often post on political issues as you know but this just makes me seethe. Ruth Kelly, a Labour MP and Cabinet Minister, being lambasted for deciding to send her dyslexic son to a private school where he will get specialist help. Get out of her life and mind your own damned business. Here is what we know. We live in a capitalist democracy which provides many things to accommodate the financial situations of the members of our society. Given the funds, we are free to choose which of those we want. The Labour party is not against private schools. Ruth Kelly has the income to afford to send her son to a private school. Her other three children remain in the state system. Here is what we don't know. The severity of her son's dyslexia. Any other learning issues he has. What the professional advice was that she received concerning her son. Whether the local state schools actually can give him the help he needs whatever the quality of their services. Given these things, in which world is she a hypocrite? She is simply exercising her right to choose and she is not going against her government's ideology. But much more than that, she is doing what every responsible parent should want to do, and that is trying to get the best for her children. And for that she should be applauded. That attitude should not damage a career, it should enhance one. I know most people can't afford private education for their children. Unless my financial circumstances change, neither will I be able to. But I no more have the right to tell Ruth Kelly how to spend her money than she does me and mine. That's choice, that's freedom and that is our democracy, isn't it? My advice is, stop whining about the priveleges of others and try and better your own situation in whatever legal fashion you can. That's what I try to do. Good for you, Ruth Kelly. And good for your children. They have a mother who cares for them more than she does her career and that must make them feel bloody great. Friday, January 05, 2007BFS Prism ColumnThought I'd reprint my Prism columns here (I do have permission...). Prism is the magazine of the British Fantasy Society. And if you're interested in the society, why not join? Head over to www.britishfantasysociety.org.uk and find out more. Meanwhile, here's my first colulmn. Wrote it in October last year. Enjoy. Fantasy Musings – Prism Column, October 2006 On jealousy It is traditional, when the fantasy genre is brought to wider public attention for authors to nod appreciatively and say how happy they are that author ‘x’ has helped to further the cause of the genre in general, we will all benefit and the world is clearly a happier place, blah, blah. Now come on, all of you, admit it. Beneath this veneer you are seething with jealousy when such a thing happens. Take the following: ‘Peter Jackson has optioned Naomi Novik’s Temeraire.’ Was I jealous when I read that? Is the Pope a German? My teeth ground together and my temperature rose. Good grief, I dream of this and here it is happening to someone else. Oh, the unfairness of this world. Wail and howl! Why has Jackson not called me to explain that The Raven must be brought to the big screen? Can he not see what must surely be in front of his face? Frankly, James, no he can’t, so stop your whining. I congratulate Naomi Novik. She has conjured a superbly visual premise. But that doesn’t stop me having a few moments of insane jealousy. Personally, I didn’t get on with the writing style but I doubt she’ll lose any sleep over that. However, few of us could deny that, correctly rendered, Temeraire will be a feast for the eyes. The point is, what do you do with such jealousy? Well, there are two routes. Get bitter and spout about how undeserving it is that lesser talents (for such will be the insinuation) have achieved mighty riches (for such is the root of the bitterness). Or get over it and give yourself a great kick up the backside. Use it. Someone else has hijacked one of your dreams but the happy thing is that dreams, and not just nightmares, can recur. Make it you next time. Will it bring the fantasy genre to a wider audience as a result? Well, there is little evidence that The Lord Of The Rings did anything of the kind. I guess the encouraging thing is that film and TV makers are more and more accepting of fantasy. The scales may take a long time to tip but if the trend continues, an increase in interest is inevitable. Like prodding at a rock with your finger, eventually, you’ll make an indentation. On David Gemmell The undisputed master of heroic fantasy in the UK died on 28th July this year. The effect he had on fans was demonstrated in the outpouring of emotion and tribute seen, in particular, across the internet. For myself, there was personal sadness too. David was a good friend and a peerless mentor; a man I will miss very much in the years to come. But, like the tribute we held at FantasyCon in September, melancholy is outlawed from this column (unless I never hear from Peter Jackson of course and then it is entirely justified). David believed in the great strengths of humans and their capacity to defeat evil and save good. He reflected those strengths in his novels as well as in everything that he said. These are what I will remember going forward… love, friendship, honour, courage, redemption. A world that exhibits these cannot be all bad. He also told me once that while it was almost impossible to define ‘heroism’ so far as he was concerned, there was one thing he always bore in mind. And it was this: that when for all others, all hope is gone and despair and defeat are inevitable, for a hero, there is always something that can be done. Wise words. Until next time, do the best you can and be good to people. Nothing else really matters when you think about it. Monday, November 20, 2006I have a confession to makeI voted for my X-Factor favourite on Saturday night. And if you wantto know, it was Ben. My wife, Clare, voted for Leona. Over one and a half million did vote so it is not shocking per se, except if you are aware of my utter loathing for reality and talent shows. So what happened? Well, it's quite simple, I watched an audition episode of the show almost by accident. It was at once hysterical, filled with delusional individuals and, just occasionally, with someone who could really, really sing. Like so many, I got drawn in to the whole concept. Now the reason I enjoy it is because unlike total bilge like, 'Big Brother' or 'I'm a former celebrity desperate for publicity, get me a TV contract' the X-Factor is actually a show that demands talent, and developing talent too. Yes, there is melodrama with the judges and all that (and actually, I began by disliking Simon Cowell but now see him as the most honest of them. Harsh, but honest. And normally right) but in the end, the singing wins the votes. Crucially, it is not a contest to see who can eat the most grubs, spiders and then blub and whine pathetically. I have no respect or regard for anyone who ever goes on such shows. Wouldn't waste my sweat if they were burning in the pits of hell. Which is where they deserve to be, after all. Anyway, why did I vote? Well, because we're down to the last few acts and there is some serious talent in danger of going out because of an obvious voting conspiracy regarding one of the remaining acts. Sorry for those who don't watch but here it is. The MacDonald Brothers do not deserve to still be in the show. It's quite simple. Nothing personal but they do not measure up to the ability of any of the acts who have gone out in the last three weeks at least. They are not good enough. They are there, surely, because there is an organised vote each week for them. Nothing to do with ability, everything to do with parochial pride. So I urge everyone that wants to see a deserving winner... Ben or Leona in my opinion, then vote. Don't leave it to other people. Don't trust to hope that the MacDonalds will lose their support. Again, nothing personal but they cannot hold a candle to any of the remaining acts. X-Factor is a decent show. It is exciting and there is great ability on display. It's fun and it's good theatre. If an average act win, it undermines the credibility of the whole show, which would be a shame. Yes, I am a convert. But to this one alone. Tuesday, October 17, 2006Vanity and the beachJust been on holiday. Last one before the baby comes in January. And it was fantastic, thanks for asking. A place called 'Maroma' on the Riviera Maya in Mexico. Glorious beaches, great diving, unbelievably good service and close to beautiful Mayan ruins. Anyway, that's as maybe. We spent a good number of hours on the beach, reading, relaxing and oft-times watching what was going on. There was a resort next door and it provided terrific entertainment if you wanted to see vanity in all its glory. Now I'm not complaining. Beautiful bikini bodies are not to be frowned at. But even so, the egos that they contained were jaw-dropping. We had the daily struts down the beach. Not merely strolling and talking but strutting. Tits and arses thrust to best advantage, plenty of glances to ensure people could see and were watching. Disdain worn like an extra pair of shades. I became convinced that training courses must have been available next door. The pride was tangible. John Travolta would have been proud It's one thing when you have a body to show off (and plenty of the lads and lasses did, to be fair. But, as with all beaches, some were sadly deluded. Mainly the men. Too much on the stomach front, too little on the trunks front. Enough said. Follow my lead, wear appropriately sized shorts... Far more hilarious was the photography, though. I must be an old git but really, do you have to get a 'professional' to take your photos as you play in the surf, pose on the sand and toss your long hair back so the spray flies high as the shutter clicks? Do you want your holiday shots to look like an extremely poor fashion shoot? Apparently, many do. A long line of sad wannabes got sand in their pants whilst dreaming they were about to appear in the pirelli calendar. Great to watch mind you. And there was no thought of humility, no awareness of the ridiculous figures they cut. Outstanding blinkeredness (if there is such a word). Then there was the middle aged Italian couple who thought they were doing a remake of 'From Here To Eternity.' Magnificent. People-watching on a beach should be an Olympic sport. And there are beautiful people on every beach. And I am no classical sculpture. But at least I know it... |
Archives
• February 2003 |
