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Life at Midnight

 
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Grace



Joined: 28 May 2006
Posts: 302
Location: Bristol

PostPosted: Thu Feb 15, 2007 5:24 pm    Post subject: Life at Midnight Reply with quote

A life at midnight:
Blue just a four letter word
In Braille beneath the fingers
Which have seen more life
Than the eyes designed to guide them.

Every sound an encyclopaedia;
Knowledge imparted by the
Groan of tired floorboards,
Under leather boots that creak
Or the soft whisper of silk slippers.
Each small song a symphony
Of raw emotion, bleeding into the air.

The scent of a rose a paradise
Enfolded in the damp velvet
Of trembling petals,
With no idea of redness to distort it.

What tragedy a life at midnight
When clear laughter tells a smile,
Cold roughness is the grating speech of stone
And roses smell sweeter in darkness?
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dragonkillernz



Joined: 09 Oct 2004
Posts: 365
Location: New Zealand

PostPosted: Fri Feb 16, 2007 2:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, it's pretty easy to see what this is about, and I think it's great. I especially like the line:
Quote:
Each small song a symphony

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Grace



Joined: 28 May 2006
Posts: 302
Location: Bristol

PostPosted: Fri Feb 16, 2007 8:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very Happy Thanks for reading.
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Drizzt



Joined: 07 Mar 2005
Posts: 1081
Location: Easington, UK

PostPosted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 1:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like the last verse. Sums up everything the poem is saying, especially the last line. Very good! More please!
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Grace



Joined: 28 May 2006
Posts: 302
Location: Bristol

PostPosted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 3:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Drizzle. *rubs eyes* Tu voudrai PLUS?
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Kerela



Joined: 10 Sep 2005
Posts: 372
Location: Germany

PostPosted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 3:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I also like it, especially the 2nd verse ist beautiful.
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Grace



Joined: 28 May 2006
Posts: 302
Location: Bristol

PostPosted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 5:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you!
Kudos on your translted work on the poetry thread. It's great, and I'm amazed you managed to translate it.
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James
Site Admin


Joined: 26 Aug 2004
Posts: 479
Location: United Kingdom

PostPosted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 5:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's a lovely poem, Grace. Full of emotional colour.

Might I make just one suggestion? I'd take the word Braille out. There is plenty in the poem to tell us it concerns blindness.

A line like:
'Spelled out by trembling fingers' or something like that. Hell, I'm no poet. I'm sure you can do much better.

Just my tuppence. Wish I could write verse like that.

James
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Grace



Joined: 28 May 2006
Posts: 302
Location: Bristol

PostPosted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 5:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

*blushes*
Thanks James, that means a lot.
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